IT is $#IT.

I manage to invoke the blue screen of death and break my computer. For some reason I take pleasure in telling the head of our IT department this. He asks what happened. I tell him I broke my computer.

IT: "Yes, but HOW did you 'break' it?"

Me: "I dunno. It was going and then it just broke".

IT: "Well, what were you doing on it when it stopped working?"

Yeah right. You'll have to get up priiitty early in the morning to pull a fast one on me. I watch Law & Order. I know my rights.

Me: Silence....

IT: *deep sigh* "I'll be right up"

Everyone who has ever sat in a cubicle for more than 4 months usually put photos of themselves, loved ones, pets, their children, clowns...what have you in their space to remind them of their reason for living. I somehow managed to go almost 3 years without a single photo. Apparently this is weird and made people uncomfortable. I'm not one who likes to see people uneasy *ahem* so I put up some photos of my dog.

IT is staring at these photos while waiting for my computer to reboot. He turns to me and asks where are the pictures of my kids.

Me: "I don't have any kids.  Just a niece and nephew."

IT: "Don't you have any of your own?"

Me: "No, I don't have any kids."

IT: "Really? You would have been a great Mom. What happened?"

I stare at him a moment before bursting into tears. In between my sobs I relay the story of how I'd always wanted to have children of my own but was born a hermaphrodite and therefore was never equipped with the proper plumbing to breed my own brood.

Fine. I didn't really. But I did stare at him a moment before making some lame crack about not even being able to keep plants alive. Should have gone with the hermaphrodite story cause really? Who SAYS that??


Just for this, I'm breaking my computer again next week.