The Doctor Is In

Have you guys been on WebMD lately? They’ve made some cool changes that really up the fun factor of this self-diagnosing web site. I don’t think we even need doctors anymore. This site is so accurate!

So say you’re experiencing some symptoms. Your wrist hurts. And your foot itches sometimes. Occasionally you break out into a sweat. It typically happens outside in the summertime – allergies, maybe? YOU DON’T KNOW.  But now you do. All you have to do: Show WebMD where you hurt.

Is your undercarriage a little itchy? Click on this naked dude’s crotch. Feel a little bit like a pervert? It’s ok. Now you know you have syphilis!

I really think the people at WebMD could step it up a notch and program a feature that, after some schmuck searches the symptom checker on a weekly basis from the same IP address, a full screen pop-up is activated that flashes the following message in bright red letters:

You are suffering from a very common condition called
"LAZY"
The only known treatment for which is to stop eating like a trucker with a tapeworm,
spend less time lying awake at night feeling your pulse,
and more time actually exercising.

I think they would really be doing a great service to the hypochondriacs of the information age out there.